I was raised, educated, and pastored in a wonderful denomination that taught when you received the Baptism of the Holy Spirit your soul and flesh were made perfect (Christian perfection) is what it was called. My problem was I could not live it out. I could not practice what I preached. No matter how hard I tried, my soul was more like the old man before salvation than the new man Christ living in me.
I was such a perfectionist I could not even live up to my own expectations of others let alone myself. Add to that I was an extreme extrovert high functioning type A personality. I got my energy and spiritual juices from others and what they thought of me. This was all a set up by Satan to build a stronghold in my soul of thoughts, beliefs, and life patterns to harass and demonized me. Since then, I have learned an axiom of words, “when I am upset, it is Satan’s way to set me up.”
The reason why I had a hard time believing in deliverance is because I had a misunderstanding of demon possession. I thought, mistakenly, that I could not be demon possessed because I was a Christian. There is no word in the Bible for “Demon Possession.” For me demon possession was someone like in the movie, “Exorcist” and I was not like that at all. My perfectionism and the pleasing of man though was not controlled or even subdued the more I tried. The word in scripture that I mistakenly called, “demon possession” is in the Greek, daimonizomai δαιμονίζομαι. It means to be influenced under the power of demons.
It does not mean that a person is necessarily 100% totally possessed by a demon or demons, even though they could be and in scriptures we read of this. But it also denotes some one who can be influenced at different levels of demons. Ways of thinking. Thinking of lies that are contrary to God’s Word. Thoughts that build a fortress in our mind and mind’s eye.
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 says,3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not [a]carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 6 and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.
Rabbi Paul mentions the word, “stronghold”. This where demons build fortressed of thought and beliefs that are manifested in the flesh and soulish realm of man. The soul is one’s mind, will, and personality. Strongholds must be demolished by taking that thought, belief, or lifestyle to the obedience of Christ.
Even though I was pastoring I had allowed a stronghold of thoughts to drive my daily life which was on lies the enemy was speaking to me and in me. These strongholds were manifesting through me that was contrary to the Living Word of God.
Satan is not equal to God! There is not a cosmic tug a war in the heavenlies between good and evil. Satan is a created fallen Angel named, Lucifer. He is not all knowing, all wise, nor all powerful. Satan cannot read our mind and thoughts. He watches what we say and do. What we act out. The words coming out of our mouths give him authority to build a stronghold in our soul and influence our thinking, talking, and actions.
Have you ever had road rage? You know someone cuts you off on the interstate and the thought is to go catch him and run him off the road. You know like the Semi Trucker who cuts you off in the passing lane where you have to slam on your brakes. Well, this is a simple illustration of demonic influence. Of course, we don’t do it but what about the little lies that we begin to believe and unknowingly begin to express to ourselves or others?
This is how the influence begins and magnifies into a stronghold. This is where dark angels, demonic activity operate. Now back to the Greek word daimonizomai. This word has to do with levels of demonic influence, just not total influence.
I needed help! I was depressed, discouraged, and suicidal. Like the mighty men of David, who came to him at the cave of Adullam. I was being demonized at times 100 %.
My Deliverance
I was at a Pastor’s Conference in Florida praying in a prayer chapel asking God to set me free from depression and suicide. While praying, God took me to a scene when I was three years old. I was with my father at a State Park. This State Park had a flowing river with a high waterfall. There was a fence to protect people from falling below into the swirling water. In this scene I remembered my father was playing with me and picked me up. He then took me by my feet upside down, placing me over the fence pretending that he was going to drop me down into the swirling waters below. At that moment I was reliving that scene that had really happened when I was three years old. I remember the fear, torment, and anguish that gripped me. It was so painful while I was praying as an adult my body manifested by curling up into a ball and rocking back in forth in a fully demonic ball like an infant baby.
Then, Holy Spirit asked me this question, “where was Jesus?” I don’t know. He said, look around, Jesus was there. In my mind’s eye I began to scan the scene I just described. Yes, Jesus was there. He was holding me so that I would not drop. He was there with me the whole time. Then Holy Spirit told me that Jesus would never let me fall or fail.
You see because of that trauma, I related to man and God with a fear of failing and falling in a pool of swirling rapid waters. Because of that trauma I believed a lie so Satan could build a stronghold which was manifesting in my life with pleasing man and perfectionism. Un beknown to me it was the cause of suicide, depression, anger, frustration, self-hatred, and not liking myself. Depression is anger turned inward.
As the Holy Spirit continued to minister to me, He told me to receive my deliverance I needed to Forgive my father which I did. I needed to forgive myself for believing the lies of Satan which I did. I must accept myself as God had created me to be. And I must verbally ask the demons to leave my Temple and Soul. That I was a place for God most high to dwell and Jesus Blood was shed for my cleansing, deliverance, and freedom. Finally, I had asked the Holy Spirit to fill me so not to let the demons go away and come back seven times stronger.
Just like in salvation, that was not the end of my journey. It was the beginning. I still have to constantly deal with the old strongholds and patterns of the past. I am speaking like Rabbi Paul in Philippians 3:12-14, “not that I have arrived…but I press on toward the high calling of Christ.” And in Romans 12:1-2, “Do not be conformed to this world, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. “I beseech[a] you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your [b]reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
Shalom Shalom!
Wellspring Israel 